The power is in the process. — Shalyn Donofro - Birth, Newborn, and Maternity Photography in Des Moines, IA

When I tell people about the birth of my second son, Malakai, I tell them that, “it was like having a home birth in the hospital.” And I know what a home birth is like because my first baby, Joseph Levi, was born at home. Having Malakai in the hospital was not my first choice. For me, having him at home was a no-brainer. I’d done it before, and it just made sense that if we were going to have a natural, uncomplicated, low-risk birth, then we should do it at home. Unfortunately, having your baby at home where I live now is not as affordable as it was when we had Joseph Levi in Montana. The financial burden was too much for us to bear this time, and we chose to have Malakai in the hospital where it would be fully covered. This was not a decision we made lightly, but ultimately I knew we could have the same home birth experience (or pretty darn close) in the hospital if we really fought for it.

“The power of a birth plan isn’t the actual plan. It’s the process of becoming educated about all your options.”

If you saw my last post, then you’ve already read all about why you should have a birth plan and that not having one is still having a plan - just not a very good one. If you haven’t read it yet, go back and take a look. Understanding the why will help with the how. That’s what I’ll be talking about today. How to have the birth you’ve envisioned by creating your dream birth plan.

Find the right person. If you aren’t comfortable with your care provider’s approach or suggestions, then look into finding a different provider. You do not want to be fighting your doctor when you’re in labor and your walls are down. Find someone that supports what you want, and will work for you to have it. When we were buying a house we met with multiple realtors to find the right one for us, and we did the same thing when we were having a baby.
Talk to your partner. It is so important that you and you partner are on the same page in the birthing space. Some partners hand all the responsibility to one person and think that their part is to just show up when the baby does, but both parents should be informed and in agreement on how their baby enters the world. Making this baby took two people, and so should the birth process.
Do the research. Aside from talking to your midwife or OB, do some research in the right places. Read books, talk to other moms, watch documentaries, ask lots of questions, and don’t stop until you find the answers that you’re happy with. When it comes to birth, you are your and your baby’s own advocate. So it’s important that you know where you stand on different issues and are able to make informed decisions about them.
Make your plan. After doing extensive research about all things birth related, now you can make your dream birth plan. Think about who will be reading this, and try to make it as easy as possible to understand. I made a bullet list in a word document, but there are apps that make this extremely easy to do, and even make it look nice with easy to understand icons. You want to be short and to the point, but also include everything essential for your plan. If you’re not sure what to include, or where to even start, look up birth plan examples to get some ideas. And if this isn’t your first birth, think about what worked for you before and what you would change this time.

My experience having Malakai in the hospital was almost exactly the same as having Joseph Levi at home, with the only differences being that I had to get to and from the hospital, and that I had to be more vocal about my wishes. At home I didn’t have to tell multiple nurses to refer to my birth plan when they encouraged pain relief, constantly tell people to leave my room if they weren’t necessary, and my midwife didn’t have to put her foot down when someone tried to take my blood while I was pushing my baby out. Sometimes things happen that you don’t anticipate, but having a birth plan and going through the process of making one empowers you to better handle those instances, instead of relying on someone else to make important decisions for you and your baby.

I love sharing resources, so I’m going to let you in on my personal birth plan that I used for both of my births. You may not want to do everything like me, or you might print mine off and use it verbatim. But I know looking at other birth plans helped me to form my own, and to also realize I had a strong voice in the birthing space (so do you!).